Destruction Of A Broken Family Or Not (Part 3)


Janice Roven has been practicing law for over 35 years. She became involved in the area of family law because of her own very unfortunate custody battle. As a result, she understands being on both sides of the table. She provides strength, compassion, and the wisdom of personal experience. Here, she presents part 3 of “Destruction of a Broken Family or not.”

You have picked your attorney and you have picked your strategy. Now what?

I hate to say it, but you have missed a step. Do you want to consider mediation? Here are some issues to reflect on before you jump into mediation or walk away from it.

  1. What can be discussed in mediation? Virtually every issue in the divorce can be discussed in mediation. Ideally, all issues can be discussed and decided in mediation. Mediation is ideally a compromise between the parties regarding all of their corresponding issues.
  2. Can I have my own attorney during the mediation process? Yes, your attorney can be present during the mediation. However, by doing so, the process will seem more like litigation with a mediator present. Another alternative is to get assistance from an attorney outside of the mediation process. I have assisted many clients throughout the mediation process. We would prepare for the mediation, discuss the issues in advance and discuss what happened during each mediation session.
  3. How do I choose a mediator? The choice of your mediator is just as important as the choice of your lawyer. I have previously written about what to consider before choosing an attorney.  The same principles hold true for choosing a mediator. Make sure you are comfortable with the mediator. This is the person who is going to help you get divorced. If you do not feel comfortable, find someone else.
  4. Do you and your spouse have a good enough relationship where you can talk through ideas and work on problems together? If the answer is yes, then you should consider mediation. If you and your spouse cannot sit in the same room, it is unlikely that this is a good alternative for you.
  5. Are you able to articulate what is important to you in front of your spouse? If you feel intimidated by your spouse or are too afraid to have difficult conversations, then mediation may not be the appropriate forum for you.

Which ever path you take, remember it is a marathon, not a sprint. Best of luck with the journey. If you would like a consultation or require assistance with a divorce, do not hesitate to contact me.